Top 10 Worst songs of 2018

 While 2018 produced some truly great songs, it also produced incredibly despicable garbage. There were a lot of bad songs, and they were as bad as the good songs were good. So let's not waste any time, and get to the top 10 worst songs of 2018.

10.

A lot of you are probably surprised that this song is so low, considering most music critics put this song extremely high on their worst of 2018 lists. I'll get to why in a minute, but before I do, R.I.P JuiceWRLD.

Lucid Dreams by JuiceWRLD

I really want to like this song. The beat is incredibly relaxing and psychedelic, JuiceWRLD sounds great, Lucid Dreams is a fantastic title for a song, and the music video is surreal and creative. So what's holding me back from liking it? The lyrics. Now, my problem isn't that it's a breakup song. Hell, Robbery was also a breakup song, and that was in my best list. My problem is that, unlike Robbery, the lyrics are terrible. And before any Juice fans get upset, two things: One, I'm a Juice Fan too, and if it wasn't for the lyrics I would like this song too. And Two just because he's dead, that doesn't mean he's immune from criticism. Got that? Good. Now, what's wrong with the lyrics? Well, let me put some lyrics to this song on here, and see if you can figure it out (and these are actual lyrics from the song, by the way):

You found another one, but

I am the better one

I won't let you forget me

You left me falling and landing inside my grave

I know that you want me dead

You were my everything

Thoughts of a wedding ring

Now I'm just better off dead

You were made outta plastic (fake)

Who knew evil girls have the prettiest face?

If you guessed they were incredibly immature, angsty, and stupid, you'd be correct. These lyrics just feel so phony, whiny, and stupid, and ruin an otherwise good song. So yeah, that's why this song is so low. If the lyrics were decent or just OK, this song would've made the honorable mentions on my best list of 2018. But they aren't, so it's here. Although, despite this, I have enormous respect for JuiceWRLD. He was a truly talented individual, who made me appreciate a genre I don't like in the slightest, and my heart goes out to those who are still mourning his loss. You may be gone, Jared, but you will never be forgotten. :-)

9.

This song has the same problem as Lucid Dreams, in that it's a good beat with awful lyrics. But the reason this song is below Lucid Dreams is because LD is just a whiny breakup song, while this song is the glorification of a dickbag woman abuser who makes terrible music.

Freaky Friday by Lil' Dicky and Chris Brown

Despite what I said when I talked about Earth in my worst songs of 2019 list, I don't hate Lil' Dicky. While he doesn't have the greatest sense of humor, Dave Burd seems like a nice guy, and is able to make good songs, like Save Dat Money, Molly, Professional Rapper, Bruh.... How Can U Sleep and Too High. Not to mention that trailer for his Hulu show Dave. With a little polishing, and more technique, Burd could be a decent comedic songwriter. But as Freaky Friday proves, he has a lot to work on. However, unlike Earth, which has no redeeming qualities, with the possible exceptions of the animation, and Ed Sheeran as a koala, Freaky Friday does have some redeeming qualities. Firstly, that beat is great. Considering it's by DJ Mustard, a beat like this is amazing by his standards. It's incredibly catchy and memorable, and makes this song worth listening to. Aside from that? There are a few ok jokes, like Chris Brown's Kid running around, the DJ Kahled joke near the end (athough it would've been funnier if he made a joke out of the fact that Kahled does nothing during his songs, and yet gets credited as the one who wrote it), and Brown as Dicky enjoying his anonymity is a clever idea, that's been done better before. Also, the lyric "I'm trying to find myself like an introspective monk" is a very clever bit of wordplay. But now let's get to what's wrong with this song, starting with the one thing nobody who criticized this song talks about: Dicky and Brown don't even try to act like they've switched bodies. They act exactly how they normally do, which ruins the illusion of them switching bodies. But believe me, that's the least of this songs problems. Freaky Friday is one of the least self aware comedy songs I've ever seen. Like Earth, the jokes are incredibly bland and basic, revolving around stuff like Dicky as Chris saying the n word a bunch of times, saying how awesome it is to be Chris Brown, and a bunch of black stereotypes that not even the 1950s would find funny. And I know someone else said this, but I am surprised that Dicky didn't include a fried chicken joke. And as for the most infamous line of the song: "Ain't nobody judging cause I'm black, or my controversial past", yeah, that line is horrible, but honestly it doesn't piss me off as much as it does to everyone else. It's just another bad line, in a song full of bad lines. And then we get to the ending. Where Chris as Dicky finds Dicky as Chris at a nightclub, and leaps up to strangle him for wasting his body, but then Dicky as Chris says, and I quote: "If you hurt me, then you're only hurting yourself" and that "loving yourself" is the key to them switching back. Not only is it an incredibly lazy way to resolve the main conflict, but it's yet another ego stroke on a song that praises Chris Brown so much, even Vanity Smurf would call it a bit much. And afterwards, while Dicky and Chris are dancing, the Asian man (oh yeah, I forgot to mention that. Dicky and Chris switch bodies with the help of an Asian man who works at a Chinese food restaurant in a reference to the Lindsey Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis Freaky Friday. Why didn't I mention this? Because it never comes up until the end of the song), for some reason transports Dicky into the bodies of Ed Sheeran, DJ Kahled, and Kendall Jenner. The DJ Kahled joke I already mentioned, so let's talk about the other 2. The Ed Sheeran joke is basically "Aw, I'm in Ed Sheeran's body. It's not as cool as being in Chris Brown's body." Now, in case you didn't know, I am an Ed Sheeran fan. And while, yes, Ed Sheeran is not the greatest musician in the world, the fact that Dicky said being Ed Sheeran wasn't as cool as being Chris Brown is a tad insulting. And then we get to the part that everyone, even the people who actually like this song, hate, the Kendall Jenner part. Here is the Kendall Jenner part in its entirety.

Huh, I'm Kendall Jenner

I got a vagina, I'm gonna explore that right now (woo, woo)

Holy shit, I got a vagina (uh), I'm gonna learn

I'm gonna understand the inner workings of a woman

I will leave you this time to bleach out your eyeballs from reading those lyrics. In conclusion, while I don't hate Freaky Friday as much as most people, it is still a really bad song, and a stain on Lil' Dicky's discography, even with that insanely catchy beat. Here's hoping for better things, Dickmeister.

8.

Let's talk about Imagine Dragons. While they have made plenty of good songs, they've also made a lot of really bad ones. And while this song is far from their worst ( I honestly don't know what the worst Imagine Dragons song would be), it's still pretty bad.

Bullet in a Gun by Imagine Dragons.

I've heard that Origins is a pretty bad album, and while I can't prove or disprove that claim, Bullet In A Gun is definitely one of the worst songs on that album. The rhythm is annoying, Dan Reynolds sounds awful, and the title is incredibly stupid. It's not even a song worth commenting on. The only reason it's above Lucid Dreams and Freaky Friday is because unlike those songs, Bullet In A Gun is unlistenable. And by the way, this is the breaking point. This is where we get to the truly terrible trash of 2018. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

7.

There are many types of bad songs. But few songs stretch the limit of what a song can be as much as this song:

Gucci Gang by Lil Pump

 Gucci Gang is a complete and total oddity in bad music. It's just so insanely bad, but memorably awful. Most of the lyrics are Gucci Gang, and the ones that aren't are stupid, the titular Gucci Gang has no relevance other than being a buzzword, Lil Pump sounds so bored it looks like he's about to fall asleep, his hair is made of gummy worms, and the song is so vapid and bad in every conceivable way. Gucci Gang is one of those songs that deserves to be immortalized as an infamously bad song. It's just a spectacular failure, that is completely unmatched. But it still sucks. It sucks really hard.

6.

I told you this song would make my worst of 2018 list!

Money by Cardi B.

This song is basically Press, but with slightly more rhythm. But that doesn't mean it's good. Not only is it a terrible song, but it also rips off a much better song, HUMBLE by Kendrick Lamar. And if that's not bad enough, Cardi B is incredibly obnoxious, there are annoying chipmunk vocals, the music video is stupid and idiotic, and again, this song is terrible. Now, if you excuse me, I'm moving on, because the longer I talk about this song, the more my brain cells start shrinking.

5.

Marshmello is one of the blandest producers of all time. The only thing that makes him memorable is that marshmallow hat he always wears. Aside from Be Kind, and Everyday, his music is bland, generic shlock. And in this fifth entry, he collabs with Anne Marie, who I liked in Fuck, I'm Lonely, but literally nothing else, to make the worst song of his entire career.

Friends by Marshmello and Anne Marie

Musically, this song isn't that bad. It's definitely not good, but I've heard a lot worse. Lyrically, this song can go straight to hell. I have never been friendzoned, or even been in a relationship, but from what I've heard, friendzoning is an uncomfortable, awkward experience that does not need an anthem. Oh, did I not mention that this song was given the monkier of "Offical Friendzone Anthem"? Blow me. The lyrics portray Anne Marie's character as a selfish scumbag, who takes pleasure out of putting Marshmello's character in the friendzone, and Marshmello's character as an obsessive stalker, who can't be reasoned with, and to quote Anne Marie, has been stalking her and trying to get back to her 6000 times!!!! That's more than the cost of a VR headest!!!!! Ok, so bad lyrics are one thing. How is the singing? Well, since Marshmello isn't a singer, let's talk about Anne Marie. Comparing Marie's singing in Friends and Fuck, I'm Lonley is like comparing night and day. While in FIL, Anne Marie had a lovely, relaxed voice, here she sounds obnoxious and dull. And while the lyric video is adorable, it doesn't make up for this piss stain of a song. So yeah, I'm done talking about this song. Screw Marshmello, screw Anne Marie, and screw this stupid pretentious "anthem" NEXT.

4.

While Drake managed to make my best list with God's Plan and Sicko Mode, he also manages to make my worst list with one of the worst songs he's ever made, if not his absolute worst.

I'm Upset By Drake

This song sounds like absolute garbage. It's like they looked at the rhythm for Truth Hurts by Lizzo and said "Let's make that sound even worse." On top of that, Drake sounds way too bored for someone that's aparrently upset, and this song is about Drake not wanting to pay child support. What a lovely subject matter. Oh, and the music video has the Degrassi cast and Jay and Silent Bob in a vain attempt for you to like it. Try hard much? Yeah, this song is utter garbage, which is easily the worst song of Drake's entire career. 

3. 

Calling this a song would be an insult to the concept of songs.

Tick Tock by Lil Xan

After listening to this garbage, I think I owe Gucci Gang an apology. This song is absolute trash. It's obnoxious, annoying, gag inducing, and Lil Xan sounds obnoxious as hell. It is easily one of the worst rap songs I've ever heard, and listening to it makes my ears hurt. NEXT.

2.

Every 6ix9ine song.

In order to save time, and to never talk about this dickhole ever again, I decided to save time and put every song he ever made (and will ever make) into one entry. And I put Gummo as the video, because that song sums up all of his flaws the way Psycho sums up Post Malone's cool relaxed feel. So, who is 6ix9ine? 6ix9ine is a rapper, who's real name is Daniel Hernandez. He is a horrible rapper, and an even worse person. He is loud, obnoxious, and irritating. All of his songs are absolute garbage, and the fact that he is in business is a complete shock to me. There. Done. Now I never want to talk about Takeshi 6ix9ine ever again. 

And before we get to #1, I'd like to go through some dishonorable mentions

I Love It by Kanye West and Lil Pump

This song is bad. There is no debate about that. But like Marville and The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, I Love It is an incredibly interesting disaster. From the unfunny "Cum motherfucker line" to the stupid costumes Pump and West wear, to the stupid and lazy music video, to the line "I'm a sick fuck, I like to quick fuck" which is not only stupid, but rhymes a word with itself, to the rest of the lyrics which are insanely dumb. It's just fascinating. However, unlike Filthy, I Love It isn't enough of a guilty pleasure to make it as an HM on my best list.

Shallow by Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga

I have no feelings on any version of A Star Is Born, but screw this song!!! It's so boring, obnoxious and schmaltzy! I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! I HAAAAAAATE IT!!!!!!! But my problems with it are on a subjective level, so I left it off the list proper. That doesn't save this garbage song from the honorable mentions though.

Boyfriend by Ariana Grande and Social House.

While this song is better than 7 Rings and BUWYGGIB, it's still not a good song, and I hate how Ariana sounds on it. Also, she murders a girl's hand by stabbing it with a bow and arrow, and puts her in a headlock. And she's the hero in the song. At least in 7 Rings, she's aware that she's a selfish brat. And again, Magic In The Hamptons is a million times better.

X by Nicky Jam and J Balvin

What the hell is this?

Lights Down Low by MAX and gnash.

While this song is nowhere near as bad as I hate u, I love u, Lights Down Low is still really bad. But not enough to make it on the actual list

Kream by Tyga and Iggy Azelea

Wow, a collab between Tyga and Iggy Azelea sucks. Who saw that one coming? Also "because poor literacy is kewl!"

God Is A Woman by Ariana Grande

This song commits one of the greatest musical crimes possible: Making Ariana Grande boring. Even when she's bad, she's at least interesting. Boyfriend, 7 Rings, and Break Up With Your Girlfriend, I'm Bored are awful songs, but I'm not going to forget them. God Is A Woman on the other hand is a boring, dull, piece of nothingness.

The Academy Award by Franz Ferdinand

This sounds like a song from the 12 Oz Mouse soundtrack that was rejected for being too trippy and weird. Also, who's excited for season 3?

New Rules by Dua Lipa

The lyrics are decent, but the production is broken as hell, and Dua Lipa comes off as an enormous snob

Yes Indeed by Lil Baby and Drake

This song rivals You Say by Lauren Daigle, I Hate You I Love You by gnash and Olvia Obrein, and Gucci Gang by Lil' Pump for the title of most boring song in the universe.

Walk it Talk it by Migos and Drake

They went through the effort to make the video have a 70's aesthetic, but have the song be a generic rap trap song. Why? If you're doing a gimmick, follow through!!

Taste by Tyga and Offset

While this song is insanely disgusting and creepy, Leather In The Rain makes up for it, and it's too forgettable for me to hate. But WOW is it bad.

Mo Bamba by Sheck Wes

                                         

This song barely exists. Also, why the hell was there a meme where people chose between this and Sicko Mode? I mean, is that a question that needs to be asked?

And now, onto #1.

1.

Before I start talking about my #1 worst song of 2018, I would like to say one thing: I have nothing against XXXTENTACION. I don't like him as a person or a musician, but he impacted his fans in positive ways, and I can respect that. And regardless of whether he was planning on becoming a good person or not, the fact that his life was taken from him at such an early age is undeniably a tragedy. My heart goes out to his friends, family, and fans, who are still mourning his loss. However, none of that changes the fact that I hate his biggest hit with a burning passion!!!!!!

SAD! by XXXTENTACION

You'll notice that, unlike the other songs on this list, I did not include a video. That's because I like my website, and I don't want to ruin it by putting this disgusting, distasteful video on it. Yes, I'll put 7 Rings, Gummo (albeit in audio form only. I still won't put the actual music video up, because screw 6ix9ine), and Earth on my website, but not SAD!. That's how much I despise it. So let's pick apart the festering corpse of a song that is SAD! by XXXTENTACION, shall we? Let's start with the beat. I hate this beat. It's incredibly creepy and unnerving, but unlike Bad Guy, which makes me feel mildly disturbed, this beat makes me feel unclean. I can see why some people would like it, but I just don't. Also, the music video is incredibly stupid and distasteful. I can see why they thought this would work: two versions of X fighting each other to signify internal conflict. But it's handled in an incredibly stupid way, and the fact that the brown haired X wakes up in a coffin, and is killed by the blue haired X makes this video extremely distasteful, considering it was released after X's death. Now, before we continue, let me address the complaints people will have with this entry. Yes, I am as far from XXXTENTACION's target demographic as possible. I am a guy who lives off of 80's and 90's movies, who loves AJR, and who's favorite song of 2019 is I Don't Care by Ed Sheeran and Justin Beiber. And while I have not heard every XXXTENTACION song, from what I have heard, SAD! is far from his worst song. So maybe I should just do to this song what I did to Bad Guy by Billie Eilish, and just say that I don't like it, but it's not my thing.... is what I would say if the lyrics weren't incredibly toxic. Now, I am not the right person to talk about these lyrics so I won't go into too much detail. For those who want more detail, watch Sean Fey Wolfe's ranking of every #1 hit of the 2010s. He covers what's wrong with them better than I ever could. As for me, I'm just going to say that these lyrics take a song that was bad, but I could respect is not my thing, and turn it into a toxic dumpsterfire. Regardless of your feelings on this song, or the man who wrote it, the fact that a ton of young, impressionable X fans will take this song's message to heart is horrifying. As bad as Lil' Dicky's Earth was, I'll give it credit that it at least had good intentions. But this song, and it's success, actively makes the world a worse place to live. While X in no way deserved to have his life taken at such an early age, I will never forgive him for putting SAD! into this world. NEVER. 

Dear god was this a terrible year for bad songs! Well, that was my list. What did you think? Were there any stinkers I left out? What songs did you disagree with? Comment below, and thanks for reading!