I like this song. You heard me. I like ESSKEETIT by Lil Pump. Is it brainless? Yes. It is meaningless? Yes. But I still like it. Why? Firstly, the energy. Unlike Gucci Gang, which is slow and droning, ESSKEETIT is incredibly energetic and catchy. It's an incredibly infectious earworm. Also, unlike Gucci Gang, Pump looks like he's having a lot of fun, and has a tongue in cheek vibe. And while ESSKEETIT is just as, if not more, meaningless than Gucci Gang, at least he doesn't repeat it throughout the entire song. So yeah. ESSKEETIT is a stupid, but fun as hell song. If you hate Lil Pump, you'll probably hate this song too. But if you're a fan of stupid, brainless nonsense, check out ESSKEETIT.
What are your thoughts on ESSKEETIT? Is it fun and silly, or do you disagree, and think it just sucks? Comment below, and press the follow button to be notified of new blog posts.
Ah, 2015. The year of Smosh: The Movie. A lot of music critics regard this as one of the better years of music, and I agree. This did have some good songs. Which we will talk about today. So let's count down the top 10 best songs of 2015.
10.
Like Twenty One Pilots, I don't really care about X Ambassadors. Unsteady is garbage, and most of their other songs I've never heard, or don't care about. However, they did make one song that I really like, not counting Sucker for Pain:
Renegades by X Ambassadors.
This song is very relaxing, catchy, and charming. It's just a fun, boppy, catchy groove. The singing is great, the lyrics are wholesome, and it's just really good. It may have a comercially feel, but this song is alright in my books. More like this, X Ambassadors.
9.
Hello again, Drake.
Hotline Bling by Drake
People either love or hate Hotline Bling. And I'm in the love camp. Hotline Bling is such a bizarre, relaxing song. Like True by Spandau Ballet, every time I listen to this song, I feel like I'm being transported into another dimension of relaxingness and chillness. Sure the lyrics are about Drake obsessively calling a girl, but when a song sounds this cool and chill I can't help but love it. So yeah, this song is easily one of Drake's best, and a great song in general.
8.
Like I said in my 2018 worst list, I don't hate Lil Dicky. He seems like a nice guy, he has a good flow, and can make good songs. Case in point:
$ave Dat Money by Lil' Dicky, Fetty Wap, and Rich Homie Quan
Here's the first thing that makes $ave Dat Money better than Freaky Friday and Earth: there's an actual joke. Sure, the idea of making a rap song about saving money as opposed to spending money isn't an original idea, but that doesn't mean it isn't funny. And I think that Dicky does the joke justice. The lyrics are clever, the beat slaps, and the joke about the verse from Rich Homie Quan costing too much money is actually really funny, and has the double joke of not having enough money to pay RHQ for the full verses, and being a humourous take on how guest verses rarely have to do with the actual song. So yeah, Dicky, more songs like this.
7.
2015: A year so good, Florida Georgia Line made a genuinely good song.
Confession by Florida Georgia Line
Confession is easily the best song from Florida Georgia Line. It's heartfelt, catchy, and Tyler Hubbard's obnoxious voice manages to sound charming and sweet. It's like taking a trip into a bizzaro world where Florida Georgia Line doesn't suck. I honestly wish FGL would make more songs like this. But nooooooooooo! Meant To Be and H.O.L.Y were big hits, while Confession flopped miserably, so we're stuck with hacky, annoying FGL. SCREW. YOU. BILLBOARD!!!!!!!!!! But seriously, Confession is a great song. Even if you hate FGL, check this song out. And Hubbard, Kelly. This song proves you 2 have potential. Please take advantage of it. Moving on.
Also, like with Hollywood, thanks Cicabeot1 for introducing me to this song.
6.
This song is like the bizzaro version of You Say by Lauren Daigle. That song is so boring, sterile and passionless, that I fly into a fit of rage whenever I hear it. This song on the other hand, is incredibly bizarre, experimental, and full of passion. What song is it?
Where Are Ü Now? by Justin Bieber, Skrillex, and Diplo
While the lyrics are generic shlock about JB wanting a girl, this song makes up for its lyrics by a good voice, creative imagery, and that catchy as hell drop. But most importantly, this song is creative as hell. It's like the musical equivalent of a short film from the Animation Show. Every inch of this song is laced with creative expirementalism, from the melody, to the singing, to the creative and cool music video. So yeah, this song is awesome. If you haven't heard it, listen to it. It's so good.
5.
This may not technically count as a song, but it's still awesome.
Of Murder & Catfish: Songify the News #8 by Schmoyoho and Jontron
After being relegated to the Honorable Mentions of my 2018 and 2017 best lists, Schmoyoho finally gets to appear on one of my best lists proper. For those that don't know, Schmoyoho is a band that consists of 3 brothers named Andrew, Michael, and Evan, and the fourth member, Sarah, who married Evan in 2009. They basically take things that aren't songs, make them musical, and add a splash of humor. And Of Murder & Catfish is one of their best examples. The verses from everyone are greatly sung, there's a ton of great jokes, and of course, Jontron, who is awesome as usual. If you've never heard of or seen Schmoyoho, this video is a good place to start.
4.
People seem to either love or hate Fetty Wap. Personally, I have no feelings on the guy. Sure, I put $ave Dat Money on this list, but that's mainly for Lil Dicky. So why am I talking about him? Because there's one song I really like from him:
679 by Fetty Wap and Remy Boyz
679 is the definition of a brainless song. The lyrics are meaningless, the structure is nonexistent, and it's stupid and silly. And I love every minute of it. Fetty Wap sounds fantastic, Remy Boyz is good, and dear god is this instrumental infectious as hell. Also, I know it's sewed up, but I always hear it as soda. So, yeah. 679 is a great, brainless, silly, stupid song. Check it out.
3.
Hello again, Dave Burd.
Professional Rapper by Lil' Dicky and Snoop Dogg
Proffesional Rapper is easily the best song from Lil Dicky. The lyrics are clever, funny, and paint an interesting picture, Snoop and Dicky both sound good, the music video is clever and well animated, and it feels like an incredibly honest picture of who Dicky is and how he sees his industry, for better or worse. It's a really cool interesting song, that proves that Lil Dicky is more than a one joke pony.
2.
You might notice that, unlike my last couple of lists, the picks for this one have been pretty non-controversial. I mean, there have been songs that most people wouldn't consider, but there haven't been any unanimously despised songs so far. That is, until now.
Honey, I'm Good by Andy Grammer
I know a lot of people hate this song, but I absolutely love it. Why? Firstly, it's catchy as hell. Andy Grammer's voice is full of fun and energy, the clapping is fun, and the rhythm is infectious as hell. The only way you couldn't dance to this song is if your feet were stuck to the floor. Secondly, this is a song about being loyal to your wife. And as someone who hates cheater songs (Except for How Long by Charlie Puth. That song gets a pass because it's funky as hell), HIG feels incredibly refreshing. Admittedly, the message falls apart in some places like with the line "if I stay I might not leave alone", but for the most part Honey, I'm Good succeeds at conveying its message. Also, this music video is so adorable. Seeing these couples celebrate their marriage while lip syncing to Grammer's loyalty anthem is so awesome. And what makes this truly great is the video features every couple type: straight, gay, young, old, newlyweds, married for years, it's just so great. So yeah, I get the hate, but Honey, I'm Good is absolutely awesome.
And now, the honorable mentions.
Jealous by Nick Jonas
A few lyrical hiccups, but a generally good song. Also, Nick Jonas on his motorcycle reminds me of the 5sf character Renegade Pervert.
GDFR by Flo Rida
Unlike Millionare, this song is fun, stupid, catchy, and Flo Rida sounds good. Also, just because a song has a sax riff doesn't mean it's ripping off Talk Dirty. That's like saying if a song has a guitar solo it's a ripoff of Don't Stop Me Now. And don't think of saying that they sound the same, because they clearly don't.
On and On by Cartoon and Daniel Levi
One of the few Youtube montage songs that doesn't suck.
Bruh.... by Lil Dicky
Lil Dicky's most underrated song.
Flex (Ooh, Ooh, Ooh) by Rich Homie Quan
The premise for this song is incredibly reprehensible, but this song is so fricking catchy, and Rich Homie Quan is so unintelligible, that you can just turn your brain off and ignore the reprehensible lyrics.
Budapest by George Ezra
Really cool and relaxing.
Donald Trump Sings & Dances - Songify This by Schmoyoho
I only wanted to put 1 Schmoyoho song on this list, but this song is so catchy and funky, it deserves a mention.
Bills by LunchMoney Lewis
The honorary #11. Catchy and fun as hell, with incredibly relatable lyrics.
No Way No by MAGIC!
It's sad that these guys were relegated to one hit wonder status, because they're not half bad. And while No Way No isn't amazing, it's a chill, funky song devoid of the problems that plagued Rude.
Really? Yeah! by KYLE
Stupid, but catchy and fun.
Locked Away by R. City and Adam Levine
It is kind of stupid and over the top, as well as having no idea what it wants to be, but R. City is good, and Adam sounds amazing.
Downtown by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis
The honorary #12. An absolutely amazing piece of awesomeness.
Lush Life by Zara Larsson
A catchy fun, funky song, with a beat that reminds me of the I Took A Pill In Ibiza remix.
Can't Feel My Face by The Weeknd
More funky Weeknd, less emo Weeknd. PLEASE.
Shots by Imagine Dragons
The most underrated Imagine Dragons song.
Shut Up and Dance by WALK THE MOON
Absolutely fantastic.
Post To Be by Omarion, Chris Brown, and Jhene Akiko
A catchy as hell guilty pleasure.
Gibberish by MAX and Hoodie Allen
Absolutely fantastic. I know a song called Gibberish might sound stupid, but seriously, this song is absolutely fantastic.
Champagne and Pools by Hoodie Allen, KYLE, and Blackbear
A great song from the underrated Hootie Allen, and the fun as hell KYLE. Even Blackbear sounds alright. That's a sentence I never thought I would say.
Style by Taylor Swift
Amazing
Overture Part 1 by AJR
Seriously, I have no idea how anyone could hate this amazing band.
Oui by Jerimih
A lovely sounding song, with decent, heartfelt lyrics. From the guy that made Don't Tell 'Em.
The lyrics aren't great, and the Munsters sample is a weird choice, especially since this song has nothing to do with The Munsters, but Uma Thurman is still a really good song.
Classic Man (Remix) by Jidenna and Kendrick Lamar
An enjoyable catchy song, with easily one of Kendrick's best guest verses.
I'm In Love With A Monster by Fifth Harmony
An alright song that has good vocals, and a catchy melody eerily similar to Feel It Still by Portugal. The Man. Which is weird, because this song was made 2 years before that one.
Nasty Freestyle by T-Wayne
Absolutely stupid and hilarious.
Lean On by Major Lazer, DJ Snake, and MØ
Insanely catchy, funky, and chill
Trap Queen by Fetty Wap
An alright jam, which not only gave Fetty Wap a career, but also gave us this:
What Do You Mean? by Justin Bieber
Not as good as Where Are Ü Now, but still good. Also, there's a cameo from John Leguizamo.
And now, onto #1.
1.
If No is all the flaws of Meghan Trainor without anything that makes her good, then this song is everything that makes Meghan Trainor great, without any of her flaws.
Better When I'm Dancin' by Meghan Trainor
I actually did see the Peanuts Movie in theaters, and it was really good. It was funny, heartfelt, decently animated, and a good representation of its source material. And on top of that, it resulted in Meghan's best song. I may be alone in liking Me Too, but even the biggest Meghan Trainor hater can't hate this song. It's happy, bouncy, wholesome, Meghan sounds absolutely amazing, and unlike Just Like Fire, this song stands on its own so much to the point where the music video has absolutely nothing to do with The Peanuts Movie, aside from a few Peanuts characters. On top of that, it's an infectious as hell earworm. Once you hear it, it will be in your head for the rest of the day. And you will love it. So yeah, we may have gotten some garbage from Meghan Tumblr, but it was all worth it for this amazing song to exist.
Well, that's the best of 2015. What did you think of my picks? What's your list? Comment below, and make sure to smash that blue follow button so you can be notified when I make a new blog post. In the meantime, thanks for reading, and tune in for my worst songs of 2015 list.
While 2016 wasn't nearly as bad as 2018 or 2014, it was still a bad year for music. A lot of the songs were really bad, but not even memorably or enjoyably bad. But let's count them down anyway, Without furthur ado, let's delve into the top 10 worst songs of 2016.
10.
I don't hate Charlie Puth. Sure he isn't in any way good, but he seems like a nice guy, he can occasionally be good, and most of his bad music is just harmless filler. However, that doesn't save him from appearing on this list.
One Call Away by Charlie Puth.
You know how people criticize people like Imagine Dragons and Maroon 5 for making boring, commercial friendly white noise? Well, this song is so bland, it actually does sound like a commercial jingle. There is nothing unique about One Call Away whatsoever. It is a stale piece of nothing, that leaves less impact than Styrofoam. On top of that, the lyrics are pure trash. Let's start with the most infamous one: "Superman's got nothing on me". Really, dude? You think you're stronger than Superman? Well, let's compare. This is Superman:
And this is you:
Yeah, Superman wins. But that's really the only memorable line in the song. The rest of the lyrics are boring, generic shlock about how he'll always be there for her, and this and that and blah blah blah. Puth may be a nice guy (not that kind of nice guy, we'll get to that kind later in the list), but after listening to One Call Away, it's no wonder that he's making commercials for Subway now.
(Charlie Puth's Single Ladies cover is hilarious. I just used it to prove a point)
9.
I have only heard 2 songs from Daya, not counting that song she did with The Chainsmokers: Sit Still Look Pretty, and Hide Away. While Sit Still Look Pretty is a garbage feminist anthem with some of the worst lyrics I've ever heard in my life, it is fun and catchy enough to not earn my scorn. Hide Away on the other hand:
Hide Away by Daya
Like #10, Hide Away is incredibly bland and forgettable. But unlike One Call Away, which is at least inoffensive, and the message of the song is "I will always be there for you." Hide Away's melody is limp as hell, and the message of the song is "Why don't boys like me?" It's basically the musical equivalent of this:
On top of that, the lyrics, while not as bad as the ones from SSLP, are still pretty bad. Here are some "highlights"
To be fly as a mother- The hell does that even mean?
Guessing now I just don't know where to find them
But I hope they all come out tonight- Well, you need to try a little harder. Love is hard. You don't always get what you want immediately.
Boys seem to like the girls who like to kiss and tell
Talking them up about things that do so well- So boys like girls that talk to their friends about their romances, and compliment them? What's wrong with that?
I'd rather find a boy who is down for the chase- Again, what does that mean?
To supply all of my heart's demands- Yes, because boys exist only to serve queen Daya.
He's gonna save my life like Superman- Gee, where have I heard that before? It's almost like that was a lyric in the song directly before this one.
And don't even get me started on the music video. A league of dads stopping their daughers from dating?! Ugh. I don't know if Daya is like this in real life, hell she probably already has a boyfriend, but if this song is what her view of love is like, I would not be surprised if Daya was single. That being said, the Neptune remix is actually pretty good:
Sure, it may have the same flaws as the original, but at least it's more catchy and fun.
8. A lot of people say this is one of Rae Sremmurd's better songs. I agree that it is, but it's still bad.
Black Beatles by Rae Sremmurd and Gucci Mane
Rae Sremmurd is one of the worst bands currently working. They're basically the Florida Georgia Line of rap: boring, douchey, annoying, and punchable. And while Black Beatles is nowhere near as bad as Swang or No Flex Zone, it's still a boring pile of mush, with the added bonus of saying that Rae Sremmurd is the black equivalent of the Beatles. Yeah, that's one of the biggest piles of bull I've ever heard in my life. This is the Beatles at their prime:
And this is Rae Sremmurd at their prime:
Powerglide may be a good song, but it isn't in the same ballpark as those Beatles songs. And for those of you saying that Black Beatles is about how RS is as revolutionary as the Beatles, well that's a load of bull too. The Beatles are a bizzare, cool band who makes songs that could be made by nobody else, while RS indulges in the same rap trap cliches as a billion other people. I've seen loyalists that are more revolutionary than these clowns. So yeah, I'm done. Screw this band, and screw this song.
7.
Why does this exist?
Tiimmy Turner by Desiigner
Who the hell asked for a rap song about a grown up Timmy Turner from The Fairly Oddparents? Anybody? Bueller? Bueller? Ok, to be fair, songs can have stupid premises and still sell them. But this song does not. Tiimmy Turner is an obnoxious annoying, droning song. It sounds like a bullfrog trying to sing The Hills. As for the lyrics:
Tiimmy, Tiimmy, Tiimmy Turner
He was wishin' for a burner
To kill everybody walkin'
He knows that his soul in the furnace
Fuck bitch on BET
Had me wildin', she fuckin' on BET, wildin' for wallet
Kill everybody walkin'
He knows that his soul in the furnace
How the hell do I even respond to that? Simple answer: I don't. NEXT.
Also, what the hell is Lil' Dicky doing here?
6.
I honestly don't care about P!NK. Sure she's a decent artist, and a good feminist role model, but none of her songs are good enough to leave an impact on me. So why am I bringing her up? Because someone has to answer for this:
Just Like Fire by P!NK
Ladies and gentlemen, we have the most bland and forgettable empowerment anthem of all time!! Seriously, Just Like Fire is one of the most generic inspirational anthems I have ever heard. The lyrics are generic and cliché as all get out, and the metaphor of using fire as an empowerment symbol is played out as hell. And yes, I listed Thunder by Imagine Dragons as the best song of 2017, despite also having a cliché symbol for empowerment. But I like that song for how it sounds, not its lyrical content. And Just Like Fire fails both musically and lyrically. The lyrics are next level generic, with metaphors and lines that Imagine Dragons would reject for being too generically inspirational and cliche, and the melody is non-descript and clean cut as hell. It's the musical equivalent of that DCOM, Z-O-M-B-I-E-S, wanting to take a stand, but is too scared to actually take a stand, so it turns in a bland, nothing mess of a song, that is satisfying to no-one. Also, there's a rap bridge for some reason. Granted, it's less cringey than the rap bridge from Shake it Off, but it's still really dumb, and makes P!NK look like a mom trying to be hip with the kids. Oh, and this song was also made for Tim Burton's Alice Through The Looking Glass. And while I haven't seen that film, it's blatantly obvious that the only reason that this song is attached to Alice Through The Looking Glass, is because it can't stand on it's own merits, and it needed Alice In Wonderland aesthetics to distract from how lame this is. So yeah, for those of you who think Girls Like You is a lame empowerment anthem, take a look at this, and see just how deep the blandness rabbit hole goes (and yes, that reference was intentional).
5.
For those of you upset that I put Me Too on my best list, at least we can agree on one thing: No is an absolutely garbage song.
No by Meghan Trainor
A lot of people think that Me Too is worse than this song for some reason, but I could not disagree more. Me Too isn't a masterpiece, but it's Beethoven's 5th Symphony compared to the massive garbagefire that is No. Let's start of with the melody and singing. Because this is without a doubt the worst a Meghan Trainor song has ever sounded. Gone are the popping bubbles and funky infectious melody of Me Too, the catchy and fun beat of Lips are Movin', hell, I'd even take the doo wop beat of Dear Future Husband and All About That Bass over this skittish nonsense. Also, Meghan herself sounds godawful. Even in her bad songs, Meghan sounds good, but in this, she sounds as pretentious as the lyrics make her out to be. Speaking of which, let's get to the lyrics. Oh god are these lyrics complete and total g to the a to the garbage. It almost comes off as a parody of a feminist anthem, but Meg is being completely serious with this. Let's start with the premise of this song. So the song is about Meghan at a club, where a guy is trying to hit on her. Now, a reasonable person would assume that this song is about Trainor telling off the guy, either because he's acting like a creep, or because he's not her type. Well, no. Because Meghan shuts this guy up BEFORE HE EVEN SPEAKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For all we know, he could've been a nerdy social outcast, laughed at and made fun of by people of both genders, and was at the club to distract himself from his crushing loneliness, and maybe get a date. But Meghan just destroys his dreams, by saying "I don't like you, because you're a man." This is apparently feminist now. Treating men like garbage, using the persecution of women in the past as an excuse. Songs like No remind me of the end of George Orwell's Animal Farm, where the animals, after taking over the farm, establishing and breaking multiple rules, and basically being communists, begin to act exactly like their former oppressors, even starting to look like them. That's what people like Meghan Trainor are doing. They're throwing off the system, by basically being the system. True gender equality is about seeing both sides as equal. Women thinking themselves as better than men is just as sexist as men thinking themselves as better than women. It's songs like No that give feminism a bad name, and it's time to stop. That title could not be more fitting, because when I am asked if I want to hear this song, my response is, to quote Meghan herself, "Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no."
4.
Remember when I said in my worst of 2017 list that I Fall Apart was an interesting failure? Yeah, that doesn't mean it isn't a million times worse than Rockstar.
I Fall Apart by Post Malone
Let's get the obvious out of the way: what the hell is wrong with Posty's voice on this song? Even in White Iversion and Rockstar, he just sounded kind of bored, but here, he sounds like he's hacking up a hairball while muttering his dying breath. It's just absolutely terrible in every sense of the word. As for the lyrics? Angsty stupid moronic dreck, that Lucid Dreams rejected for being too emo and stupid. Oh, and of course "devil in the form of a whore." Wow. I mean, wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow. Even XXXTENTACION would call that a bit much. And the ending to this song is painful. While Thunder's ending is heavenly, the ending to I Fall Apart physically makes me retch. If this list was based on how a song sounded, this would've been #1. But unfortunately, there were 3 songs that pissed me off more. Post, never do this again.
3.
Dear god does Florida Georgia Line suck.
H.O.L.Y by Florida Georgia Line.
Meant To Be is absolutely awful in every sense of the word, but at least it has some kind of rythm, and we get Bebe Rhexa, who's at least a better singer than FGL. H.O.L.Y has none of that. Let's start with the most obvious thing about it, the title. That acronym titling isn't just for show, because H.O.L.Y doesn't mean holy. It means (are you ready for this?) High On Loving You. Good job, FGL. You made a stupider acronym than L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N, an acronym meant to be stupid. As for the songs actual contents? Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. H.O.L.Y is basically a standard, broey, "I Love You Girl" FGL song, but with some religious song tropes thrown in. And seeing the guys that made This is How We Roll try to make a religious love song is unintentionally funny at best, and stupidly lame at worst. The melody is bland and insipid, and Tyler Hubbard's whiney voice sounds terrible as usual. And while H.O.L.Y is only 3 minutes long, it feels like an eternity, because it's that dull, boring, sloppy and incompetent. Screw you, Florida Georgia Line.
2.
I am really proud of Shawn Mendes for evolving. As I've mentioned before, he's managed to move on from his JB clone stage, and make a name for himself with songs like If I Can't Have You, Lost In Japan, and There's Nothing Holding Me Back. And considering the garbage that he made in 2016, that evolution is astounding.
Treat You Better by Shawn Mendes
Yep, it's not a worst songs of 2016 list without this piece of garbage. I'm almost tempted to leave it off the list, because every other music critic tore this song to shreds to the point where there's nothing new to say about it. But hell, one more tearing won't hurt. Here goes:
Treat You Better is absolutely despicable on all fronts. Mendes' character in this song is a complete dickweed, who doesn't care at all about the girl he's writing this song about, and only wants to get in her pants. Say what you will about Abe from Clone High, but at least he actually cares about his friends. And as someone who actually is a nice person, and tries to help others, and be kind, I despise people who only help others to get laid. Granted, they're not as bad as those that are actually abusive, but they're still pretty loathesome. They're douchey, whiney jackoffs who can't fathom the idea of a girl they like not being into them, and seeing them as a friend and nothing else. And seeing Shawn write a song that glorifies the idea of Niceguyism is rage inducing to say the least. And these lyrics. OH. MY. GOD. THESE LYRICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let's go over some of the lowlights, shall we?
I won't lie to you- Yes you will. In fact, you spend this entire song lying to both her, and yourself.
I know he's just not right for you- Because you want her in your pants.
But I see it on your face
When you say that he's the one that you want
And you're spending all your time
In this wrong situation
And anytime you want it to stop- The song never makes it clear whether the girl actually is in an abusive relationship, but if not, Shawn comes off as a dick.
I know I can treat you better
Than he can
And any girl like you deserves a gentleman- And by Gentleman, you mean you.
Tell me why are we wasting time
On all your wasted cryin'
When you should be with me instead-I'll let Nostalgia Critic take this one:
Thanks, Doug.
So yeah, this song may appear on a lot of worst lists for 2016, but it's definitely earned it. It's despicable, ugly, whiny, dull, and toxic as all get out. Treat You Better really shows how far Shawn has grown from making immature pieces of teen trash to There's Nothing Holding Me Back, If I Can't Have You, and Lost In Japan. To borrow a quote from one of the worst songs ever made, I'm glad the old Shawn can't come to the phone right now. Because he's dead, and should stay dead. But seeing how much rage and anger I have towards Treat You Better, what beat it out for worst song of 2016? Well, before we talk about that, it's...
Dishonorable mentions time!
Gold by Kiiara
I personally consider this song more so bad it's good than plain bad. Oh, it's still bad, and screw the line "Your brother was a good substitute for you", but Gold is such a weird, bizarre song from every angle that I can't help but be intrigued by it. Also, that idiotic as hell gibberish chorus.
Lost Boy by Ruth B
Like Hey Soul Sister, I used to hear this song a lot. But without the nostalgia goggles, this song is a boring slog with a stupid premise.
Sit Still Look Pretty by Daya
I may not hate this song enough to put it on the list officially, but that doesn't save it from the dishonorable mentions. While it is insanely catchy, SSLP has some of the worst lyrics I've ever heard. In fact, I could make a top 10 list of the worst lyrics in this song. But not now, because that would take too long.
Zillionare by Flo Rida
Awful song, with braggadocious lyrics. At least Whistle, as bad as it is, can be enjoyed in an ironic sense. Also, what the hell are you doing here, Bobby Moynihan?
Hands To Myself by Selena Gomez
Garbage lyrics, an annoying breathy voice, and another reason Selena Gomez shouldn't be in music.
Really Really by Kevin Gates
Stupid, dull, and annoying.
My Dick by 3OH!3
This song is so entertainingly terrible. Every second of it is just off the wall insane, from the weird music video, to the infectious melody, to the stupid lyrics, to the so bad it's good chorus of "Every time I look at my dick, I'm like holy shit, that's a big dick
And every time I look at your dick, I'm like holy shit, that's a small dick." It's a song that is bad in every respect, but I can't stop listening to it. Also, the ending is hilarious.
Pop Style by Drake
If Only and Love Me didn't exist, Pop Style would be the ugliest song Drake was ever a part of.
M.I.L.F $ by Fergie
Disgusting, creepy, and annoying. Consider this my honorary #11.
Panda by Desiigner
This is literally just noise. Also, that Panda thing that appears at the end of the music video is creepy as hell.
Wicked by Future
Boring beat, dark and dull tone, and I can barely understand a word that comes out of Future's stupid droning mouth.
We Don't Talk Anymore by Charlie Puth and Selena Gomez
A boring, forgettable pieces of dreck that makes One Call Away look like Thunder.
White Iverson by Post Malone
Easily Post's most boring song to date. But as I Fall Apart proves, boring isn't always a bad thing.
Ain't Your Mama by Jennifer Lopez
A boring "feminist anthem" with production that sucks in every conceivable way, yet still gets stuck in your head.
When We Were Young by Adele
Adele being her boring, bland, dull self. Why do so many people like her?
Unsteady by X Ambassadors
An ugly, disjointed mess that sounds like complete garbage. How do you go from Renegades to this?
Needed Me by Rihanna
This is one of the most broken songs I've ever heard in my life. Even the DJ Mustard chime is broken. I'm not kidding.
Pillowtalk by Zayn
This song is so bad, it makes I Don't Wanna Live Forever sound pleasant in comparison. It's obnoxious, generic, dull, and annoying. Easily the worst song made by a 1D member.
Stitches by Shawn Mendes
A garbage, boring song with a stupid music video, and the melody used to make Treat You Better. I am so glad Shawn Mendes evolved past this garbage.
I Hate You, I Love You by gnash and Olivia O'Brien
Ugh. I hate this song. It's such a boring rage inducing piece of nothing, that has no reason to exist and is so vapid and dumb that it's actually my #1.
1.
I Hate You, I Love You by gnash and Olivia O'Brien
Based on my previous #1s on my previous worst lists, it might seem weird to put this boring, nothing of a song at #1 during the year of Treat You Better and I Fall Apart. But that's just it. Similar to You Say by Lauren Daigle, I hate you, I love you is a song that is so boring, so sterile, so ordinary and lifeless, that I actively feel angry whenever I listen to it. Except unlike You Say, which is so rage inducingly boring that I fly into a fit of rage whenever I hear it, IHYILY, while still making me angry, is too muddled and lame to get me really upset. On top of that, the lyrics are garbage, sappy, and bland as all hell, gnash and Obrien are terrible singers that make Rae Sremmurd sound like AJR, and to say they have no chemistry is an understatement. Usually, when a song is a duet, it's for 1 of 2 reasons: 1. it's because the song has 2 characters, and needs 2 singers to play those 2 characters (for example, Fuck, I'm Lonely), or 2. it's because the song needs to have 2 singers in order to bounce off each other, and make the song sound great (for example, Lalala). The closest IHYILY comes to is the first reason, but it botches it up royally, because not only do they have no chemistry, they don't even share the screen together despite being featured artists!!!!!!!!!!!! So yeah, it may not be as flashy as Treat You Better or No, but I Hate You, I Love You is such a boring, rage inducing pile of nothing, that it deserves the title of worst song of 2016.
Wow, did I get madder at these songs then I was expecting. Welp, that's the worst of 2016. What are your thoughts? What's your worst songs of 2016 list? Comment below, and make sure to hit the blue follow button in order to be notified by new blog posts. So until my next blog post, have a great day, and avoid these songs like the plague!
Also, at the end of the music video for Treat You Better, there's a number for a domestic abuse hotline. Meaning they're framing this nice-guy anthem as a PSA for domestic abuse. Yeah, I need to use this clip again:
A lot of people think that 2016 was a garbage year for music. I personally disagree. While the songs in 2016 weren't great, 2016 was amazing compared to the garbage fires that were 2018 and 2014. So let's get into the best of what 2016 had to offer.
10.
And the award for most overhated song of 2016 goes to...
Work by Rihanna and Drake
While I disagree with Ducky about I Fall Apart, I agree with him about this song. Work isn't great, but it's a decent, relaxing catchy song. And while most of Rhianna's lyrics are intelligible at least they're not toxic, racist, sexist, or Lucid Dreams levels of immature angst. As for Drake, he does a decent job too. His flow is decent, energetic, and fine. I can understand the hate (hell, it's only #10), but I personally think Work is alright.
9.
Mike Posner.
I Took A Pill in Ibiza (Remix) by Mike Posner
I Took a Pill in Ibiza (Remix) is a weird as hell song, but it's really cool too. Firstly, let's talk about that paper mache face. That face is perfect. It's an amazing combination of creepy and derpy, that manages to be both unsettling and symbolic. The song itself is also good. The beat is very bizzare, catchy, and unsettling, but comforting at the same time, giving the song a very distinct feel. Also, I love the techno beat. it's incredibly catchy and soothing, and makes the song feel distinct. But what really makes this song great are the lyrics. Like Hey Ya! this is a song that hides it's sad undertones with a nice poppy beat. The song is basically about Posner dealing with the life of being a celebrity in a really bad way. Except unlike Hey Look Ma I Made It, the song frames him as having a crisis of having to deal with the loneliness and boredom of being on top, as well as being an obscure nobody. So yeah, deep and meaningful, nice sound, and cool imagery. Thumbs up from me.
8.
I have no feeling whatsoever on Twenty One Pilots. I've heard some of their songs like Stressed Out and Heathens, and while not terrible, they didn't leave that much of an impression on me. So why am I talking about them? Because of this:
Ride by Twenty One Pilots
Dear god is Ride an amazing song. Let's start with the production. Ride's production is absolutely amazing. The reggae beat, combined with the funky melody make this an absolute piece of musical bliss that I can't listen to without bopping my head. The lyrics are also very interesting, the singing is good, and it's a very cool song. I may not be that much of a TOPer, but Ride is absolutely fantastic.
7.
Well, this entry is going to piss a lot of people off.
Me Too by Meghan Trainor
Yes. I put this song on my best list. Let the hate comments fly. Now, before I start talking about my feelings on this song, I'm going to talk about my feelings on the woman who made it, Meghan Trainor. Because this is the first time she's appeared on this blog, and it won't be the last. Meghan Trainor songs are essentially the junk food of music. Not good for you in the slightest, has no nutritional value, some of it tastes disgusting, but others are a fun, delicious distraction. And Me Too is one of the latter. I can understand people hating Me Too, but every time I listen to it, I just want to jam. Unlike 7 Years, I can't see Meghan as a narcissist in this song. I see her as a fun, confident woman, who's proud to be herself. But really, this song appeals to me because it's stupid and fun as hell. I fully admit that it's a stupid, ridiculous song, but it is so much fun. The lyrics are dumb and silly, Meghan is just ridiculous, and it's catchy as hell. It's basically the female version of Body Like A Backroad: stupid as hell, I get the hate, but I enjoy it way too much for it to be considered bad in my books.
6.
For those of you upset that I like Me Too, and dislike Truth Hurts, at least we can agree on one thing: Good As Hell is just that.
Good As Hell by Lizzo
This song succeeds where Truth Hurts fails. The rhythm is fantastic, Lizzo sounds great, but most importantly, it's actually feminist. The problem with modern feminism is that it's confused with misandry. And that's the core of why Truth Hurts fails as a feminist anthem: it spends its runtime dunking on men. Good As Hell on the other hand, spends it's time telling the person listening "You are an awesome person. If your man doesn't love you, leave him. You aren't defined by a man." Now, granted, I am a man, so maybe I'm not the right person to talk about feminism. But from what I can tell, feminism is bringing both sides together, not one side bullying another. And that's what makes Good As Hell such a great song. Unlike Truth Hurts, it's a perfect example of how to make a feminist anthem. And it also helps that it sounds amazing
5.
Don't Mind by Kent Jones is a guilty pleasure. Sure, it's stupid and dumb, but it is such a catchy, rhythmic as hell song. But why am I talking about it? Well....
Don't Mind (Remix) by Kent Jones, Pitbull, Lil Wayne, and DJ Khaled
Like my #9 entry, this is a remix that improves heavily on the original. It combines the catchy as hell, but stupid original, with Pitbull and Lil Wayne. While I'm not a Lil Wayne fan, he actually doesn't sound that bad in this. Not great, but he's alright. But let's get to the real reason this song is on here: Pitbull. Like I said in my review of Back In Time, I really like Pitbull. He's the kind of guy that would step in dog poop, and just go about his day like normal, even if people were laughing and making fun of him. And like with Back In Time, he absolutely kills it here. His charisma blends perfectly into the silly rythm of the song. So yeah, even if you don't like the original, check this remix out. But if you don't like the original or Pitbull, then this song will do nothing for you.
4.
Cool by The Jonas Brothers sucks. But I can kind of see the ironic appeal in it. Seeing someone try and fail to be cool can be enjoyable. And my #4 pick has that exact same appeal.
Play That Song by Train
I've heard people criticize this song as a song where a guy continually pesters a DJ into playing his girlfriend's favorite song. And while that may be true, Play That Song is really good. It's just such an enjoyable, happy song, and unlike the Jonas Brothers in Cool, Pat Monahan is enjoyably lame in this. He's just being a fun little kid, dancing around, singing a merry tune. And sure, the song this song samples "Heart and Soul" is one of the most cliche songs in existence. But at least this song does that sample justice. Play That Song is definitely a song worth replaying.
3.
Hello again, Lil' Yachty.
Broccoli by DRAM and Lil Yachty.
Yes, the columbine line is weird and distasteful, but aside from that, Broccoli is an alright song. It's very fun, upbeat, and silly, both singers are great, and the music video is weird and cool. Admittedly, some of the lyrics are not good, but this song is still alright in my books. Like Party Rock Anthem and Hangover, Broccoli is the kind of song you turn on when you want something brainless, stupid, and fun.
2.
While this song is really good, it's the lyric video that semented it at my #2 spot.
Cheap Thrills by Sia and Sean Paul
This lyric video is straight up genius. Not only does it do a good job capturing the tone and feel of a 1950s dance show, but it clashes brilliantly with the song itself. It also does a really good job of capturing the 1950s aesthetic, and it's really cool. Also, both singers are great. Sia is really good, and Sean Paul sounds really good. A lot of people think he sounds bad on this song, but I think he sounds fine. Also, the Male and Female Sias are really cool. They're incredibly cool, bizzare, and weird. And the blackness of their face reminds me of Todd In The Shadows. So, yeah. Good song, great lyric video, fantastic all around.
And now, the Honorable Mentions
Can't Stop The Feeling by Justin Timberlake
A happy, fun song, that just wants to have fun. Screw the haters.
In the Arms of A Stranger by Mike Posner
Remember in ITAPII, when there was an echoey song that was playing while Mike was getting high? That was this. And if it wasn't for ITAPII, this song would've been on the list, because it is an absolute banger. Consider it the honorary #11.
This Is What You Came For by Rihanna and Calvin Harris
People seem to either love or hate this song. Personally, I think it's ok. It's catchy, silly, fun, and interesting.
Gold Cover by Pentatonix
I'll go over my thoughts on Kiiara's Gold in my worst list, but regardless of your feelings on the original this cover is fantastic, and reminds me of The Bobs. Pentatonix is a really cool band.
Get Over It by RAT BOY
Charismatic, fun, cool, catchy, and charming. RAT BOY is quickly becoming one of my new favorite bands.
Riot by XXXTENTACION
Congrats, XXXTENTACION. You finally made a song that I like. Still doesn't make up for SAD!, though.
All In My Head (Flex) by Fifth Harmony and Fetty Wap
A catchy, funky song with good singing, that really should've been a bigger hit. The only problem is that the music video tries way too hard to be sexy. I mean, I'm not watching porn. I'm listening to a song. Tone it down a bit, Fifth Harmony.
Love On The Brain by Rihanna
This song is absolutely amazing.
Seagulls (Stop It Now), Bushes Of Love, and Not The Future by Bad Lip Reading
3 Bad Lip Reading songs that are hilarious and sound fantastic.
The Sound by The 1975
The fact that I didn't know about this song until watching Todd In The Shadow's best songs of 2016 list is honestly astounding. Because this song is fantastic. Screw you Billboard for not making this song a hit.
Hello Friday by Flo Rida and Jason Derulo
Fun as hell.
Starboy by The Weeknd and Daft Punk
The lyrics are meaningless, but it's funky as hell.
Adventure Of A Lifetime by Coldplay
A funky, cool, poppy song with a weird as hell music video
On my Own (lofi) by Tessa Violet
Cool, relaxing, and nice singing. Another good song from Tessa Violet.
Sucker for Pain by Lil Wayne, Logic, Imagine Dragons, Ty Dolla $ign, X Ambassadors, and Wiz Khalifa
This song is way too good to be associated with a movie as bad as Suicide Squad.
STFU by Pink Guy
The happy-sounding rhythm of this song combined with the incredibly mean lyrics combine to make this an incredibly funny, nice sounding song, that says what a lot of us want to say sometimes.
Don't Mind by Kent Jones
As I said in my #5 entry, this song is a guilty pleasure. It's not good, but it's catchy as hell, and really stupid.
And now, onto #1.
1.
Bruno Mars, never stop being awesome.
24K Magic by Bruno Mars
I mean what else could've been #1? Like Psycho and Perfect, 24K Magic is a song that perfectly encapsulates everything that makes its artist great, and makes an absolutely amazing song out of it. It's charismatic as hell, enjoyably catchy, fun, amazing, and is easily the best song of Bruno Mars' career. People seem to think that this song is an inferior version of Uptown Funk, but I think it's the opposite. Not that Uptown Funk is bad, but 24K Magic blows it out of the water. It's fantastic, charismatic, and filled to the brim with 80's charm. If you haven't heard it yet, just play the video above, and be blown away how amazing this thing is.
Well, that's the best of 2016. What'd you think? What did you agree with? Disagree with? What's your best of 2016 list? Comment below, and make sure to follow my blog, so you can be notified whenever a new blog post. Until then, thanks for reading and make sure to come back for more! :-)
