Top 10 Worst songs of 2011

Last blog post, I talked about my favorite songs of 2011. And today, I'm going over the bad. Because while 2011 was a decent year for music, there was a lot this year that sucked. So let's count down the top 10 worst songs of 2011.

10. 

This song is a massive guilty pleasure. But just because a song is a guilty pleasure, that doesn't mean it isn't bad. Because....wow. This song is so bad.

Tonight Tonight by Hot Chelle Rae

At first glance, Tonight Tonight looks like your standard, generic pop-rock song. But on closer analysis, this song is a hilarious disasterpiece. Not since Drive By, Hey Soul Sister, and Sit Still Look Pretty, have I seen a song with such inept and bizarre lyrics. Don't believe me? Here are some of Tonight Tonight's actual lyrics:

It's been a really, really messed up week. Seven days of torture, seven days of bitter.

And my girlfriend went and cheated on me, She's a California dime, but it's time for me to quit her.-The first verse implies this will be a song about the doldrums of work, but then it switches to being a song about the main singer's girlfriend cheating on him.

La la la, whatever, la la la, it doesn't matter, la la la, oh well, la la la- 10/10 songwriting right there.

We're going at it tonight, tonight. There's a party on the rooftop top of the world Tonight, Tonight, and we're dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign. I don't know if I'll make it, but watch how good I'll fake it It's alright, alright, tonight, tonight- And the award for the most meaningless chorus of all time goes to...

Woke up with a strange tattoo. Not sure how I got it Not a dollar in my pocket, And it kinda looks just like you. Mixed with Zach Galifianakis, huh- This is one of my favorite bad lyrics. It's just such a mind-bogglingly stupid line. Like, why did you bring up a drunk tattoo of your girlfriend with Zach Galifianakis' head? Just...why?

Just don't stop, let's keep the beat pumpin' Keep the beat up, let's drop the beat down It's my party, dance if I want to We can get crazy, let it all out! Just don't stop, let's keep the beat pumpin' Keep the beat up, let's drop the beat down It's my party, dance if I want to We can get crazy, let it all out!-Generic party filler lines that mean nothing and all say the same thing.

Just singing like whoa, c'mon Oh, all you party people Whoa, all you singletons Oh, even the white kids!-Hot Chelle Rae, you do realize that you are white, right? You don't get to call white people uncool when YOU YOURSELF ARE WHITE!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, Tonight Tonight is absolutely awful. This song was Hot Chelle Rae's only hit, and I can definitely see why these guys had no future. But Tonight Tonight, as bad as it is, is absolutely hilarious. It's just such an idiotic, moronic, poppy jam that I can't help but laugh at every time I hear it. If you're a fan of so bad it's good music, check this song out. But if you want music that's actually good, and has competent writing, Tonight Tonight is not for you.

9. 

Well, you all knew this would make it on here.

Sexy And I Know It by LMFAO

Unlike LMFAO's other big hit, Party Rock Anthem, Sexy And I Know It has aged horribly. I liked this song when I was younger, but that was only because I was a little kid who knew nothing about music, and only liked songs because they sounded good. And looking back, I'm shocked they even played it for kids, because this song made no secret of how adult it was. But enough about my memories with Sexy And I Know It, let's talk about the song itself, starting with the only good thing about it, the production. A lot of people criticize the production of Sexy And I Know It as being incredibly annoying and repetitive. And while it does get kind of annoying after a while, it is still pretty catchy and fun. But everything else about this song sucks. First off, the lyrics. These lyrics are insanely unfunny. As bad as Freaky Friday was, at least that song tried to tell different jokes. This song on the other hand? Literally, every lyric is some variation of "I'm sexy." That's the joke. These guys are sexy. Are you laughing yet? And then there's the music video. OH GOD, THIS MUSIC VIDEO. Yay, we get to see Redfoo stick his thong covered dick into the camera, see him sit on the beach with his butt in front of us, and seeing a bunch of shirtless guys dance while saying "Wiggle, Wiggle, Wiggle, Wiggle, yeah" Excuse me while I find a bucket to barf in. So yeah, Sexy And I Know It is godawful. It's unfunny, disgusting, and insanely obnoxious, despite the catchy beat. I may not hate it as much as most people, but Sexy And I Know It deserves a place on everyone's worst songs of 2011 list. Why was this the second LMFAO song to become a big hit?

8.

If someone asked me what was the worst use of the word "fuck" in a song was, I would say This Summer's Gonna Hurt Like A Motherfucker by Maroon 5. But if that song didn't exist, then my answer would be this song:

Tonight (I'm Fucking You) by Enrique Iglesias

Like The Lazy Song and The Time (Dirty Bit), Tonight (I'm Fucking You) appears on a lot of worst of 2011 lists. But unlike those songs, I agree with its placement there, because Tonight (I'm Fucking You) is absolute garbage. The production is unbearably obnoxious, the lyrics are generic trash, Enrique sounds terrible, the music video is dumb, but the worst part is that chorus. Not only is it so catchy that it won't leave your brain, but the way Enrique says "fuck" is so disingenuous. As bad as This Summer's Gonna Hurt Like A Motherfucker was, at least with that song Adam says the f word with conviction. But with TIFY, Enrique sounds so bored, like "I'm just saying it. I don't care. Just give me the money" Oh, and Ludacris is there too. He's meh. He's not godawful, but he could be replaced by any generic rapper. In fact, I left his name off the title, and I bet you didn't even notice. Yeah, this song is trash. Tonight I'm saying fuck this song.

7.

Hope you enjoyed being on my best of 2020 list, Luke Bryan. Because now it's time to go back to saying how much you suck.

Country Girl (Shake It For Me) by Luke Bryan

This song is one big pile of ugh. The production is generic and dull country twangs, Luke sounds godawful, the lyrics are boring and dull, and it's just an overall unpleasant experience. It's not even a fun song to hate on. It's so boring, lifeless, and irritating that it drains the life out of anyone with an I.Q above 1. People complain about the Cruise Remix starting the bro-country trend, but at least that was fun. This song is a boring pile of nothing that wishes it could be as hatable as Knockin' Boots and Kick The Dust Up. I hope Luke takes some notes from One Margarita and makes more songs like that. Because 2020 is already a bad enough year without more of Luke Bryan's awful bro-country douchebaggery.

6.

David Guetta absolutely sucks. Marshmello may be bad, but at least he can make a good song once in a while. I can't think of a single song David Guetta has made that rises above meh.  And while, yes, my #6 pick is a David Guetta song, the main reason it's on here, aside from how boring it is, is how it brings down a good artist with it.

Titanium by David Guetta and Sia

Unlike Sexy And I Know It, I never liked this song. I heard it a lot when I was younger, and I always thought it was boring and forgettable. And as an adult, I hate it even more. The production is overbearing as hell, Sia sounds godawful, the lyrics are generic and dull, and the entire song is so boring. It assaults your ears with how boring and mediocre it is before David Guetta comes in and assaults your ears with one of the worst drops of all time. Seriously, even The Chainsmokers would think that's an awful drop. Oh, and there's the music video, which...um...I have no idea how to react to this. So, it's a kid with superpowers running away from the police, before a burst of light shines from the kid and the video ends. Just...what the hell did that have to do with the song? I don't know and I don't care because this song is godawful! I'm sorry for insulting you, Adele. You may not be great, but at least your not....this. Screw you, David Guetta, and thank god Sia has never done anything like this again. Next.

5.

Katy Perry is an interesting artist. She's made songs I like, like Smile and Firework, and songs I hate, like Dark Horse, and I Kissed A Girl. But by far, the worst Katy Perry song of all time... is Dark Horse. But this song is a close second.

E.T by Katy Perry and Kanye West

First off, the song names itself after one of the best family films of all time, thereby tarnishing its reputation. Secondly, it's one of the most obnoxious things I've ever heard in my life. This production is so loud, grating, and annoying, not helped by Katy Perry, who sounds absolutely terrible. Oh, and the lyrics are stupid. I'm not even going to print them out and analyze them, because that would require much more effort than it did to write them in the first place. All you need to know is that Katy Perry wants to hump an alien. Because why not? What, did you think of that while smoking cocaine behind a dumpster? I'm all for weird songs, but this isn't the way to go about it. As for Kanye? He's the only entertaining part of this song. Not only does he sound better than Katy, but his verses are also so stupid and idiotic. But it's not worth wading through Katy's warbling and the grating production to get him. I don't know how, but Katy somehow made a song more grating than Titanium. And the fact that this song is only #5 really shows how much I fricking hate the next 4 songs coming up.

4.

Let's talk about Bro-Country. Most people hate Bro-Country. But why? Because it's schlocky, dumb, lazy, misogynistic, and meatheaded. And I understand. Why can't we just have nice, wholesome country songs that treat ladies with respect? I'll tell you why. Because then the pop charts would be full of garbage like this:

Just A Kiss by Lady Antebellum

Just A Kiss is one of the sappiest, lamest songs I've ever heard in my entire life. The production is sickeningly sweet, both vocalists sound like Christian Rock singers, and the lyrics are so lame. I'm fine with a song dedicated to waiting for sex, especially since literal rape anthems have become huge hits, but Just A Kiss does a terrible job at it. It feels like the couple in the song are waiting for sex, not because they don't want to rush things, but because they're scared of the very idea of having sex. Oh, and the fact that it sounds like a song that would play in a sappy teen-rom-com or a commercial for a compilation CD doesn't help. While it's not as objectively awful as Titanium or E.T, Just A Kiss is so infuriatingly bland, lame, and white, that it pisses me off way more than those songs do. Screw you Lady Antebellum, and I will NEVER call you Lady A. You buttered your bread, now sleep in it. 

3.

For those of you who thought it was stupid that Rihanna tried to act all gangsta with Bitch Better Have My Money, here's a song where Lil Wayne tries to act sensitive. I'm sorry, what?!

How To Love by Lil Wayne

I'm fine with singers experimenting with different song types, but who looked at Lil Wayne and thought "He looks like a sensitive, soulful type"? Whoever it was, they need to get their vision checked, because How To Love is a massive fail. Let's start with Wayne's voice. Now, I have mixed feelings about Lil Wayne as a vocalist. Despite the fact that his voice sounds like a computer choking to death, it can surprisingly sound good on songs like Sucker For Pain and Believe Me. But on How To Love, his voice sounds absolutely terrible. Every time he sings, you can almost smell the bile coming from his mouth. On top of that, the production, while not terrible, is way too synthetic, and the lyrics are incredibly dumb. And the music video makes no sense. Basically, a woman is having a pregnancy, while she runs away, and then the song ignores her, and cuts to Lil Wayne in a murky alley (a common place to find sensitive, soulful types), singing the song, while it cuts to a bunch of random people, and then the video ends with the pregnancy going well, and the black woman thanking her friend, I think, for "being there, and teaching me how to love" I'm sorry, what?! What do these things have to do with each other?! God this song is so inept! I'm moving on before How To Love teaches my brain cells How To Die.

2.

In 1997, Eminem and Royce Da 5'9 formed a hip hop group known as Bad Meets Evil. I haven't listened to enough BME songs to tell you what I think of them as a whole, but from what I've heard they're not half bad. However, this song right here? I absolutely loathe it.

Lighters by Bad Meets Evil and Bruno Mars

Lighters has 2 modes: boring, and stupid. Let's start with the boring, supplied by Bruno Mars. He is so boring in this song. His voice is dull and flavorless, the pianos are mediocre and bland, and it's so obvious he's phoning it in. And as for the stupid, Eminem supplies it in full. This is easily one of Marshall's worst performances ever. His voice sounds awful, he doesn't have his signature fast flow, and his lyrics are dumb as hell. Here are some of the worst examples. And I'm not even going to comment on them. I'm going to let the idiocy of these lyrics sink into your brain:

Had a dream I was king, I woke up, still king This rap game's nipple is mine for the milking.

I swear to god I'll be the fucking illest in this music There is or there ever will be, disagree? Feel free, but from now on I'm refusing to ever give up Only thing I ever gave up's using no more excuses

Excuse me if my head is too big for this building And pardon me if I'm a cocky prick but you cocks are slick Poppin' shit on how you flipped ya life around, crock-o-shit Who you dicks try to kid, flipped dick, you did the opposite You stayed the same, 'cause cock backwards is still cock you pricks

Brain fuzzy, cause he's buzzin, woke up from that buzz Now you wonder why he does it, how he does it Wasn't 'cause he had buzzards circle around his head Waiting for him to drop dead, was it? Or was it, cause them bitches wrote him off Little hussy ass buzzards, fuck it, guess it doesn't matter now, does it Now let these words be like a switchblade to a haters rib cage.

Those are actual lyrics. I did not make those up. As for Royce? He's really not that much better. He does sound better than Em, but his lyrics are somehow even worse than Em's. I'm not even printing his lyrics, because all of them suck. I've seen a lot of people put this song really low (or high, depending on how you look at it) on their worst of 2011 lists, sometimes even in the dishonorable mentions. But in my opinion, Lighters is absolutely retched. It's boring, lame, stupid, rage-inducing as all get out, and wastes 3 good artists. The only reason it's not #1 is that unlike my #1 worst song of 2011, Lighters isn't toxic, whiny, or manipulative. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Screw you, Lighters. SCREW. YOU.

And now, the dishonorable mentions:

Sorry For Party Rocking by LMFAO

This song would actually be pretty good, if not for that annoying as hell cybertronic belching that goes on throughout the entire song!

Love You Like A Love Song by Selena Gomez

Boring beat, effortless vocals, and insipid lyrics.

Look At Me Now by Chris Brown, Lil Wayne, and Busta Rhymes

Chris Brown rapping about his dick over an obnoxious beat. This makes Halloween Resurrection look like a better career move for Busta Rhymes in comparison. At least there he got to karate kick Michael Myers. 

I Need A Doctor by Doctor Dre, Eminem, and Skyler Grey

This is basically Lighters 2.0. But at least Skyler isn't as boring as Mars.

Hold It Against Me by Britney Spears

An ugly piece of autotuned garbage. At least Scream & Shout is so bad it's good. This is just awful.

Backseat by New Boyz, The Caratacts, and DEV

I actually like Like A G6, but this song is absolute trash. It has none of the charm of Like a G6, New Boyz has no charisma, and these lyrics suck, especially "I heard you had a baby. You want a new boy in you?" At least the Zach Galifianakis line in Tonight Tonight is so bad it's good. That is just disgusting. And so is this song.

Dirty Dancer by Enrique Iglesias, Usher, and Lil Wayne

Dated and dumb. But it is a little catchy.

Bow Chicka Wow Wow by Mike Posner and Lil Wayne

This song is one of the lamest things we as a society have created. Also, the way Mike Posner says "teddy" is absolutely hilarious.

S&M by Rihanna

If the Birthday Cake Remix didn't exist, this would be the worst thing Rihanna ever made. Oh, and it was Rihanna's biggest hit of 2011. Not We Found Love. This.

Pretty Girl Rock by Keri Hilson

One of the most narcissistic songs I've ever heard in my life. Also, those synths at the end are creepy as hell.

Rolling In The Deep by Adele

I know many people probably have this song on their best songs of 2011 lists, but I have no idea why because this song is so boring. But not enough to make the list.

Raise Your Glass by P!NK

An insanely annoying song with terrible lyrics, and one of the worst and weirdest music videos of all time.  I mean seriously, miking women and feeding the milk to a cow, and getting into a sumo wrestling match with the Monopoly Man? What the hell was P!NK smoking?

Jar Of Hearts by Christina Perri

This is one of the most melodramatic songs I've ever heard in my life. And it doesn't even have the courtesy to be the entertainingly over the top kind of melodramatic we get in Untitled by Simple Plan. This is just a dull and painful experience. No wonder everyone hates this song.

Dirt Road Anthem by Jason Aldeen

A boring and generic piece of country schlock.

And now, onto #1

1.

Like I mentioned multiple times in these 2011 blog posts, Bruno Mars during 2011 was trying to find the type of style that suited him. Some resulted in decent songs, like The Lazy Song and Just The Way You Are, others resulted in boring snoozefests like Gorilla and Locked Out Of Heaven. But out of all of Bruno's failed experiments, this one is by far the worst. And it doesn't get nearly enough hate.

Grenade by Bruno Mars

Where do I start with this abomination of a song? I have an idea, let's start with the production. It sucks. It's incredibly boring piano keys, slightly better than what we get in Lighters. How about the vocals? They suck too. Bruno Mars is not at all suited for these kinds of songs. He sounds so lost and awful. But the reason Grenade is topping this list is because of the lyrics. These lyrics are so emo, toxic, and douchey, that they make Blackbear sound like Ed Sheeran. Grenade frames Bruno as the strong heroic man, who would do anything for his girlfriend, but she's a stone-cold apathetic jerk who won't do those things in return. Oh, pooky. I feel so bad for you. How dare she reject the whiny loser who has no confidence, and makes outlandish promises, because he is an absolute simp. I don't like using that word, but that is exactly what Bruno is in this song. A cowardly, whiny, simp. He is such a pretentious, manipulative dick. Trying to get the audience to sympathize with his awful, cowardly self, when in reality, I'd rather sympathize with Chris Brown. At least that man didn't make whiny, cowardly emo trash. Oh, and the music video. This music video, like the one for Treat You Better, is so stupid and manipulative. Bruno dragging a piano down a busy street, Bruno getting pushed and shoved around by a bunch of tough guys, him singing in the rain about how he's soooo saaad, and the cherry on top, Bruno getting RUN OVER BY A TRAIN. No, I'm not kidding. At the end of the music video, Bruno's character lets himself get run over by a train. He would rather let himself get killed than see the object of his affections date another guy. I have no sympathy for you, you cowardly, manipulative dick. I am so glad Bruno abandoned this type of song and found Mark Ronson because I don't want to live in a world where Bruno is still this whiny, sniveling cowardly emo douchebag. I have no idea why The Lazy Song appears on more worst songs of 2011 lists than Grenade. At least The Lazy Song is relatable, while I shudder to imagine the kind of person that relates to this manipulative emo trash. This is one Grenade that I definitely want to see explode.

Well, those are my worst songs of 2011? How did I do? Did you agree with my list? What're your worst songs of 2011? Comment below!

Also, as bad as Grenade is, at least it gave us a funny Key Of Awesome parody: