Top 10 Guilty Pleasure Songs

We all have guilty pleasure songs. You know, songs that you like, not because they're good, but because they're either fun brainless nonsense, or ridiculously stupid failures. And since I like various songs that most people don't like, you're probably wondering what songs I consider to be guilty pleasures. Well you're about to find out, as I list off my top 10 guilty pleasures. Let's get started.

10.

My Dick by 3OH!3

                                        

I am not a fan of 3OH!3. In addition to having a stupid name, and giving us My First Kiss, one of the worst songs of 2010, they try way too hard to be offensive and unpleasant. But as I mentioned in my worst of 2016 and 2014 lists, My Dick is bizarre as hell. Now, you're probably saying "Jeremy, this is a song about a guy with a big penis. How could that possibly be bizarre or interesting?" Well, let me explain. Firstly, the music video. For some reason, this music video has the framing device of a documentary about a man with a big dick. It's just so random and bizarre. And they go all out. They have a DVR, commercials, albeit fast forwarded, and the song takes breaks to make way for dialogue. Also, the way it just stops at the end is so awkward, that it's hilarious. Also, this song is insanely catchy. Unlike the aforementioned My First Kiss, which sounds like garbage, the melody for My Dick is very funky and cool, and decently sung. But the real reason this song is a guilty pleasure is the lyrics. These lyrics are some of the best bad lyrics in history. Here are some of my favorites:

My dick's bigger than Wales. And your dick's smaller than a motherfuckin' snail.


My dick like the Mississippi river. My dick ask your bitch, what's for dinner?


Yeah dog, it's motherfuckin' kid cuisine My dick is bigger than Mr. Clean So fresh you can swish it like Listerine Your dick look like Adam Levine My dick like Pinocchio nose I lie and I just watch it grow I hang low like trunk of Dumbo While your dick is small like Frodo


Your dick like Seth Rogen's arm
Coming through with a big wang
Doing things bigger than the big bang


Your bitch call my dick Ving Rhames
V-V-V-Ving Rhames, Rhames, Rhames

Those are actual lyrics in this song. Bottom line, My Dick is a song that realizes how awful it is, and has fun with it, by being incredibly bizarre, and spouting as many bad lines as possible. It's a terrible song, but my god is it fun. Still doesn't make up for My First Kiss, though. That song is a steaming pile.

9.

Harlem Shake by Bauuer.

Few songs are as absolutely brain dead and mindless as the Harlem Shake. A lot of critics put this song on their worst songs of 2013 list, mainly because of how much it stayed on Billboard, despite being a stupid meme song. Which, while that's understandable, I think it's awesome. The meme is still really funny, and the song is a jam. It's a bizarre, fun, enjoyable song that's good when you want to bop to something stupid. The reason it's so low however, is A. there's not that much to say about it, and B. it does get annoying after a while. But despite that, Harlem Shake is a fun, enjoyable jam, that's just as fun now as it was in 2013.

8.

Body Like A Backroad by Sam Hunt

This song is a fun, enjoyable piece of  country schlock. I've seen a lot of people put this song on their worst of 2017 list, some at #1, and to that I say....

I'm sorry, but if you think Body Like A Backroad is the worst song of 2017, then you either haven't heard enough 2017 music, or you are the snobbiest person in the universe. It may not be "good" but BLABR is fun and enjoyable. The production is fun and infectious, Sam sounds alright, and the lyrics are the definition of stupid and doesn't know it. I get the hate, but Body Like A Backroad is a hilarious stupid piece of enjoyable country schlock, that eases its way into my guilty pleasure field.

7.

Filthy by Justin Timberlake

Filthy is a very bizarre song. But unlike Bad Guy and Mixed Personalities, it's a good kind of bizarre. The song has a very weird, but fun vibe, similar to Feel It Still, Justin sounds alright, the lyrics are bizarre as hell, the melody is funky and catchy, especially when it goes into the "Baby don't you mind if I do exactly what you like times 2", and it's just a unique, bizarre entity of a song. Also, like 3005, the music video contains a lot of symbolism, which can lead to a lot of interesting theories to what the song actually means. Bottom line, Filthy is a bizarre, surreal piece of music, that still manages to be fun, enjoyable and interesting. Check it out.

6. 

Rude by MAGIC!

Honestly, most of why I don't hate this song comes down to the fact that it gave us this:

but even ignoring that, Rude manages to be a fun piece of idiocy all on its own. Let's start with the basic premise: a guy is asking his girlfriend's father to marry her, he says no, and then he pitches a fit, and says he's going to marry her anyway. Raising the question of WHY HE ASKED THE FATHER IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!!!! But unlike so many other songs, Rude's premise is more laughable than rage inducing, so I can have fun with it. On top of that, I like the way it sounds. Sure, it's one of the whitest reggae beats ever, but I think it's alright. It's funky, cool, infectious, and enjoyable. Nasri is also a great singer, with a likable, casual charisma, and while I can understand people not liking it, the guitar drop is pretty cool. So yeah, even though it's a song riddled with problems, Rude is an enjoyably silly piece of schlock. It's like the song equivalent of that one friend who's an absolute doofus, but you still love anyways. It's a silly, fun, stupid song, that I think is alright. Stupid, but alright.

5.

The Time (Dirty Bit) by The Black Eyed Peas

The Black Eyed Peas are essentially the Train of EDM. While they have made some great songs like I've Got a Feeling, Be Nice, and Where Is The Love, most of their discography consists of dumb and forgettable EDM garbage like Rock That Body and Imma Be. And while The Time (Dirty Bit) technically falls into that category, unlike those songs, I actually like it. Why? Well, similar to Hangover by PSY and Snoop Dogg, The Time (Dirty Bit) is obnoxiousness that works for me. It's such a fun, infectious, upbeat song that puts a smile on my face, and a spring in my step whenever I hear it. Also, everyone sounds great, especially Fergie. Her voice is really nice in this song. And like Overture, Thunder, and Back In Time, The Time (Dirty Bit) gets better and better the more it goes on, until at the end, you're graced with a catchy as hell bop. Does this song have problems? Yeah. It can get a little too obnoxious at points, and the I-Pads and pixels really date this. But The Time (Dirty Bit) is too much of a jam for me to care. Party on.

4

Me Too by Meghan Trainor

You may remember that I listed this song at #7 on my best of 2016 list. Well, I still stand by that. Me Too is overhated as hell. "But it's so narcissistic"

It's a song about how awesome she is. Of course she'll say that she's awesome. As for the insulting the audience thing, I'm not bothered by it. It may be an insult, but I just don't see it like that. But let's get to why I love this song. It is stupid as hell. Me Too is an insanely fun, stupid bop. The melody is bubbly and funky, Meghan sounds enthusiastic and fun, and the song has a warm, inviting vibe, which is one of the reasons I'm not bothered by the insult aspect. I see Me Too less as Meghan insulting her audience, and more as Meghan letting her audience into her world. And it's a fun, blast. If you want to hate this song, fine. But I'll keep jamming to Me Too till the end of time.

3.

Be Like Me by Lil Pump and Lil Wayne

 Be Like Me is a gigantic pile of idiocy and rap clichés. And I love every second of it. It helps that it's produced by Chris Barnett, who also produced ESKEETIT. Because like that song, the beat for Be Like Me is very fun, jammin, and enjoyable. On top of that, Lil Pump is really fun and enjoyable. Not as much as Welcome To The Party, but he has an infectious, fun enthusiasm, that makes the song really fun to listen to. Also, the music video is really funny. I like all the Lil Pump clones, and zombies, and that Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man. Also, that Lil Pump dog is really adorable. As for the lyrics? Honestly, it's just stupid cliche rap nonsense. Aside from the fact that he rhymes day with day, there is nothing noteworthy about these lyrics. Finally, Lil Wayne. I like Lil Wayne in this song. His guest verse is one of my all time favorite guest verses. It's silly, fun, full of enthusiasm, sounds nice, and references Among Us. Bottom line, Be Like Me is an enjoyably stupid, fun as hell, stupid rap song, from Lil Pump, the guilty pleasure king.

2.

Photograph by Nickelback

A lot of people hate Nickelback, but I honestly never cared about them. However, Photograph is one of the all time guilty pleasure songs. It tries to be a deep, introspective look at the past, in a similar vein to Castle on The Hill, but it fails spectacularly. Why? Well, for starters, Chad's voice. It doesn't sound bad by any means, but his raspy, rocker voice doesn't suit this reflective, thoughtful lookback the way Sheeran's voice did for Castle On The Hill. On top of that, the lyrics are dumb as hell, and don't even remotely fit together.. 

Look at this photograph

Every time I do it makes me laugh

How did our eyes get so red?

And what the hell is on Joey's head?- Ok, so this song is about a photograph of all the memories you had. Cool. Also, the red eyes thing is a standard thing with photos.

This is where I grew up

I think the present owner fixed it up

I never knew we ever went without

The second floor is hard for sneakin' out- Um, wait. I thought this was about a photograph. Now, it's about where you grew up?

And this is where I went to school

Most of the time I had better things to do

Criminal record says I broke in twice

I must of done it half a dozen times- Now it's about your school? PICK A FRICKING TOPIC, CHAD!!!! Also, who breaks into school?

I miss that town

I miss their faces

You can't erase

You can't replace it- Top notch lyrics, Nickelback. No wonder everyone hates you.

Bottom line, Photograph is an incredibly idiotic jam, that tries to be reflective and introspective, but falls flat on its stupid face. So what could possibly be more of a guilty pleasure than the second most memed song behind Never Gonna Give You Up? Well what do you think?

1.

Marvin Gaye by Charlie Puth and Meghan Trainor

Once in a while, a song comes along that is so bad, so insane, and so stupid, that it doesn't even seem real. Marvin Gaye is one of those songs. Photograph is incredibly idiotic and cheesy, but it had reasonable, logical intentions, which it just failed to reach. Marvin Gaye on the other hand, has some of the stupidest intentions I've ever seen a song have. This song actively tries to imitate the sex appeal of Marvin Gaye with some of the stupidest lyrics I've ever heard, and one of the whitest melodies I've ever heard in my life. On top of that, Charlie Puth sounds so pleased with himself. He's so deluded, that he thinks that this stupid, white peice of idiocy is a genuinely amazing sex anthem that could compete with Let's Get It On, when in reality, this is more sexy:

And Meghan Trainor? Controversial opinion: I actually don't mind Meghan's part. Musically, not lyrically. Lyrically, it's the same stupid schlock that fills the rest of this thing. But I actually don't mind her gang vocals. Sure it doesn't fit, but it's very funky and cool. But let's get to the real star of the show: the lyrics. Oh god these lyrics:

Let's Marvin Gaye and get it on- That is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard in my life.


Don't keep your secrets to yourself
It's karma sutra show and tell- I don't know whether to be disgusted, or laugh my butt off.


It's so subtle, I'm in trouble
But I'd love to be in trouble with you- Clay Walsh from Old Fashioned would think that's the whitest attempt to be sexy.


And when you leave me all alone
I'm like a stray without a home
I'm like a dog without a bone
I just want you for my own
I got to have you babe- Yeah, that's not sexist at all. And I don't know if the bone thing was intentional, but considering the rest of this song, I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't.


You got to give it up to me
I'm screaming mercy, mercy please- Not a sex song. Also, name dropping Marvin Gaye songs doesn't make you as cool as Marvin Gaye.




And don't get me started on the music video, where everyone, including the cliché prude teachers, making out, because of this white as hell, stupid piece of idiocy. Bottom line, Marvin Gaye is more than a bad song. It's a monumentally bad song. It's a song that deserves to be placed on a pedestal, along with Gucci Gang, and Photograph in terms of monumental failures. If you hate it in a non GP way, I understand. But this song is way too stupid for me to hate. God bless this stupid, idiotic mess.




Well, those are my guilty pleasure songs. What are your thoughts on these songs? What are your top 10 guilty pleasure songs? Comment below, and be sure to follow my blog.