I HATE this song. I would've put it on my worst of 2015 list, but unfortunately, there wasn't room for it, but now it's here, in its own separate review, where I can bash into it, and tear it apart for being the most overrated, dull, sappy, melodramatic piece of absolute schlock that it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, why do I loathe this song? Well, let's start with the production. I hate this production. Dull, meandering, mediocre piano chords that are as passionless as a Video Brinquedo film. But let's talk about the real reason I despise this song, Adele. As I said in my worst of 2015 list, I cannot stand Adele. But why? 2 words: her voice. I HATE HER VOICE SO MUCH!!!!!!! I once heard that Lauren Daigle was a bootleg Adele, which is probably why I hate that song so much, because it's a rip-off of something I never liked to begin with. "Oh, but it's so powerful" NO IT'S NOT!!!!!!!!!!! It's dull, schlocky, bland, and irritating as all get out. And while Someone Like You isn't too bad, every other song I've heard ranges from forgettable to rage inducing. But none are more rage inducing than this pile of sappy, schlocky dreck. I DESPISE Adele's voice on this song. It's so boring, so sterile, and so shouty and annoying, and coupled with the boring as hell piano production makes this song one of the biggest chores I've ever had to sit through. In fact, as I'm writing this review, I'm listening to the song to properly write the review, and I'm trying to resist the urge to stop typing and repeatedly punch something. That's how much I hate it. "Oh, but the lyrics are sooo emotional"
As I said in my New Rules review, I believe in production over lyrics. If a song sounds like garbage, then it sounds like garbage, and no amount of good writing can fix that. EVER. But the real reason I hate Adele so much is her unwavering, passionate fanbase. I understand that Adele is not my thing, and her music isn't aimed for people like me. But just about every single human being I've ever come across is straight up in love with her. Almost every time I watch a music critic, they're just gushing about how "Adele is so amazing" "Adele is such a good singer" "We don't deserve her." And I get it. When you absolutely love a singer, you feel the urge to praise them as the best thing ever. I've done that to AJR multiple times on this blog. But when a billion people praise an artist that I can't stand, it drives me off the wall, and makes me feel like an isolated loner. And what's more infuriating is when people use Adele to insult songs I actually like, like Sean Fey Wolfe did in his ranking of the Spring 2018 Billboard, where he listed Thunder by Imagine Dragons(which, if you'll remember, was #1 on my best of 2017 list) at the bottom, which is fine, it's his opinion. But then, he brings up how it ripped off (aka made better) the mediocre Send Your Love, and then says that the even more mediocre and dull Set Fire To The Rain is somehow more powerful than the amazingly produced brilliant bombastic masterpiece that is Thunder By Imagine Dragons.
So yeah, this was really more of a rant than a review. Sorry about that. But I really wanted to get off my chest how much I hate Hello, Adele, and her undying Queen-Bee fanbase. And to those saying that I don't get it, that I'm too close minded, you're wasting your breath. Nothing you say will ever convince me that Adele is good. I respect your opinion, so you respect mine. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go listen to a song that I actually like. Good. Fricking. Day.
What are your thoughts on Hello, and on Adele? Comment Below!!!!!
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